Just Tonight.

Nothing seems to make sense anymore... I think one thing and in my head it makes sense... But then when it actually comes to doing that... It fucks up. It ends up making no sense and can then lead to making things worse with people when I was trying to make it better. You'd think that things would work out eventually, what with the saying "Good things come to those who wait", but it doesn't seem to always work that way... I would really love to know why people say that all the time, when it's not really true.

You Make Me Wanna Die.

I hate how much I need other people to be okay. I hate needing other peoples approval all the time, I hate needing to know what my friends think of me. Most of all I hate the effect the idea of losing you forever has on me. I thought I was going to be yours again. I thought I almost kind of was. But I'm really not. How could I be that stupid? Why do I always do this to myself? After everytime this happens, I promise myself I won't let myself so that ahain, I promise myself I'll keep myself together. And I do try. I try very hard. I just don't seem to have the strenght to stop myself from self-destructing. Maybe I just need to leave...

Fuck Off World.

I hate this. I was going so well for ages. I was actually borderline happy. I loved it. It made me feel okay again. And then it all cam crashing down. Such small things made my life fall apart at the seems again. I hate it. I wanted it to be it, I wanted to be able to say I was happy without worrying about when my world would crash again. I can't find clothes that fit me. I found out my uncle could potentially be dying from something I never knew he had, and then this morning I found out shit... I thought I mattered to some people. It doesn't really seem that way anymore. People don't need me to be happy, even if they say they do. It's pretty clear and obvious for me now that nobody reeeeally needs me, they just like having me around for when they may think they need me there for them. It's only sometimes. Only sometimes. Never all the time. If the world is so determined for me to be unhappy then maybe I should just stop trying to be.